The Hard Truths About Healing
How I Survive Trauma: The Blunt Truth About Healing
Let’s not sugarcoat it: trauma leaves you wrecked in ways you often don’t even understand until much later. You carry it in your heart, your body, and your energy. It could be the way your parents spoke to you—cutting words that pierced your soul. It could be growing up in an environment where love was conditional, or worse, where love was withheld entirely. Some of us were emotionally neglected, while others were mentally or physically abused. For some, it may have been even darker than that.
The truth is, trauma doesn’t have one face. It wears many masks and shows up in ways you don’t always expect. But no matter what form it takes, we can all agree on one thing: it hurts. Deeply. And the worst part? You don’t just “get over it.” Trauma doesn’t disappear once you turn 18, or when you move out, or even when you think you’ve put it behind you. It stays, festers, and follows you into every new relationship, every new phase of your life, until you deal with it.
I’ve been there. I’ve lived through things that I didn’t even have words for at the time. I thought I was doing a good job burying it, pretending like it didn’t matter. But the truth is, the things you push down have a way of coming back up, sometimes in the most unexpected ways. You’ll find yourself snapping at someone you love, feeling out of control in a situation that shouldn’t have triggered you. It’s not you—it’s the pain that you haven’t addressed.
There was a point in my life where I thought I had it together, but I didn’t. I was surviving, not living. That’s when I realized that I had to stop running from the shadows. And shadow work became my lifeline.
Shadow work isn’t about sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. It’s about getting real, digging deep, and acknowledging the parts of yourself that are hurt, broken, and hiding. It’s ugly. It’s not the kind of healing that people like to talk about because it forces you to confront things you’d rather avoid. But let me tell you—it’s the only way to heal for real.
The Power of Shadow Work
The first time I truly faced my shadows, I cried. Not a cute, single tear kind of cry, but the gut-wrenching, all-consuming kind of cry. It wasn’t pretty, but it was necessary. All the anger, the grief, the pain that I had been holding in for years came flooding out. And in that moment, I realized I wasn’t just angry at the people who hurt me—I was angry at myself for letting that hurt define me.
Shadow work forced me to look at the darkest parts of my life and ask, “How did this shape who I am today? How am I letting this pain control me?” It was hard, but every time I peeled back another layer, I got closer to myself—the real me, not the version that trauma created.
It wasn’t just shadow work that saved me. Tarot became a mirror for my soul. Every time I sat with my deck, I learned something new about myself. Tarot isn’t about predicting the future for me. It’s about reflecting the truth that I already know but haven’t been ready to face. The cards show you what you need to see, not what you want to see. And that’s why they’re such a powerful tool for healing.
I remember one New Moon, I was in such a bad place emotionally. I didn’t know what I needed, but I knew something had to change. I pulled two cards that night: The High Priestess and The Tower. Those cards shook me to my core. The Tower showed me that everything I had been holding onto needed to crumble, and The High Priestess reminded me that my intuition was my greatest weapon in rebuilding. I knew in that moment I had to let go of the version of me that was stuck in the past.
Embracing Lunar Phases: My Guide to Healing
That moment with the tarot cards made me realize something deeper: my healing was going to come in phases. Just like the Moon cycles through different phases, so would my journey. The more I worked with the lunar phases, the more I noticed how they mirrored my healing process. The Moon, with its subtle power, became a guiding force for me.
Each lunar phase holds its own energy. The New Moon became my time for setting intentions, planting seeds for the changes I wanted to see in myself. I’d ask myself, "What do I need to begin? What habits or thoughts do I need to shift?" The darkness of the New Moon invites reflection and helps me start fresh. It’s a clean slate for my soul.
When the Full Moon arrives, it’s about release. This is when I let go of what’s holding me back—whether it’s fear, trauma, or old patterns. The energy of the Full Moon encourages release and completion, pushing me to face the things I’ve been avoiding and finally let them go. Every Full Moon, I make a list of what I need to release and burn it, symbolizing the end of that chapter.
This process of aligning my healing with the lunar cycles taught me that healing isn’t linear. There are times when you feel like you’re back at square one, but that’s part of the cycle. You’ll rise again, just as the Moon does.
If you’re curious about how to work with the lunar phases for healing, I’ve created a Lunar Love Moon Course that dives deep into this practice. It’s a course designed to guide you through each phase of the Moon, showing you how to harness its energy for your own healing and transformation. I built this course based on my personal experience with trauma, tarot, and the Moon, and it’s my way of sharing that healing power with you.
But healing isn’t just about spiritual tools. As much as I love tarot and the Moon, I also ground my healing in science. Trauma lives in the body—it’s a fact. Your nervous system remembers everything, and if you don’t release that energy, it manifests as anxiety, stress, or even physical pain. That’s why I incorporate meditation and mirror work into my healing practice.
Meditation is scientifically proven to regulate the nervous system. It brings you back to a place of calm, helping you process stored trauma. When I meditate, I feel my body release the tension it’s been holding onto for years. It’s like giving myself permission to relax, to let go of the constant fight-or-flight mode I used to live in.
Mirror work, on the other hand, is about confronting the parts of yourself that you’ve ignored for too long. When you look in the mirror and speak truth and love to yourself, something shifts. You start to see yourself differently. You start to realize that you are worthy of love, healing, and peace, no matter what you’ve been through. It’s a practice that has helped me reconnect with the version of myself that isn’t defined by trauma but by strength.
We Are Stronger Than We Think
I want to leave you with this: healing from trauma is not something that you ever have to do alone. Yes, it’s messy. It’s raw, and it’s intense. But you don’t have to keep carrying this burden on your own.
The tools I’ve shared with you—shadow work, tarot, lunar phases, meditation, mirror work—these are not quick fixes. They are part of a lifelong journey. Healing takes time, patience, and commitment. But every single step you take brings you closer to reclaiming your power.
You are not defined by what happened to you. You are defined by how you rise from it. You’re strong enough to face this. You’ve survived the worst. Now, it’s time to thrive.
If you’re ready to take the next step in your healing journey, start with small changes—whether that’s pulling a tarot card, sitting with the New Moon’s energy, or just standing in front of the mirror and reminding yourself, “I am worthy.” Healing is not about perfection; it’s about progress.
